Daily Archives: May 3, 2010

May 3 2010

Meet the Administrator

My Photos | Obviously, I'm bored on a Thursday morning... | Crossroad ResonancesMAD is the Administrator of the clinically insane UPSIDEBACKWARDS, and creator of CONSPIRAPORN! In 2008 he penned and designed 20 ‘episodes’ of EZEKIEL’S CAVE. Currently he books shows and creates flyers for a variety of Indianapolis bands.

Over the year’s he’s interviewed a plethora of notable personalities including best-selling authors David Wellington, Greg Cox, Jonathan Maberry, Philip Gardiner, as well as rocker Henry Rollins, comedian Roseanne Barr, Emmy Winner Michael Moriarty, comic book creator Erik Larsen, and innovators such as artist Larry Carlson, and Fortean researcher Mac Tonnies to name a few.

MAD has produced 100’s of hours worth of podcasts in the past decade, as well as 8 CD’s worth of original music. The latest offering can be found at PIECE DE RESISTANCE and CROSSROAD RESONANCES . He’s also the keyboard player for DJ KOOLAID and you can find other web destinations at: BLACK HOLE’S LEDGE, UPSIDEBLOG, and DREAM RUMBLINGS.

He has a variety of original articles, short stories and interviews which can be found at: -UPSIDEBACKWARDS.INFO- . MAD is 31 years old, has an IQ of 119  and keeps a gaggle of rabbits and mice as pets. His favorite food is usually pizza and salad, though he can be bribed by a 6 pack of COORS, and ZERO candy bars.

May 3 2010

You don’t have the rocks!

“A coalition of geologists are challenging the way we look at global stone reserves, claiming that, unless smarter methods of preservation are developed, mankind will eventually run out of rocks. “If we do not stop using them up at our current rate, rocks as we know them will be a thing of the past,” renowned geologist Henry Kaiser said at a press conference Tuesday.”

May 3 2010

CONSPIRAPORN’S List of Things that Piss Me Off: #88

Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off

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88) The Failure of Eugenics

I propose that we reconsider the viability of the various Eugenic sciences, and evaluate how the truly human stock might benefit from the weeding of lesser races. Why, it was not in the intentions of the great philosophers of our illustrious history (See: Plato, Nietzsche) to allow for  inferior seed to overcome the righteous life-force of genetic procreation. We cannot permit for the continued perpetuation of sexual promiscuity to interfere with the blossoming of our pricelessly ripe fruit; lest we be overcome by lowly insects, maggots and flies, that will pluck the nectar from our patient and deserving lips. For the betterment of all races, it must openly be a white world, only allowing the half-breeds to procreate under our allowances, so forth.

May 3 2010

CONSPIRAPORN’S List of Things that Piss Me Off: #89

Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off

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89) Chronic Masturbation

We’ve all been there, we’ve all done it, don’t lie. I don’t care if you’re a guy or a girl, we all occasionally “pop the weasel”. But how much TLC is too much TLC? You’re supposed to eat 3 meals a day, and defecate regularly; while some people smoke a pack of cigarettes a day or drink a six-pack of beer with relatively little public ostracizing. So why is it that if you masturbate, say, 57 times per week it’s considered a “immoral thing”? Why is it that I’m now “in need of mental evaluation” and have my arms handcuffed behind my back for 22 hours a day? Since when does masturbating 57 times a week, while watching Oprah, alone in the privacy of my own home, require “shock therapy sessions” to be administrated by Nurse Helga every 12 hours? Why is being too lazy for sex, making yourself blind, and loving hairy palms a crime? And if you’re morbidly obese, incredibly ugly, or unbelievably stupid, you should masturbate even more! We don’t want y’all breeding now, do we? Whip it, whip it good!