IN THE SEA
MAD 2/14/11

“But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good,
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.”
~The Animals

It’s impossible to be in love with someone who will always love themselves more than they could ever love you. After nearly a decade I’d learned that the hard way and now, at the beginning of ten mile walk on a predictably chilly and wet night in late October, I stood by the side of the road with a Ruger SP-101 revolver hidden neatly concealed in my jacket pocket, staring down at the torn and battered remains of a bloody Rottweiler who had clearly seen better days.

Before we get too far along in our twisted little tale of melancholy, angst and tragic romance, let me tell you that my first name is Joe and my last name is really none of your business. Who knows, maybe my first name isn’t Joe but it will suit our purposes here tonight. The first person who calls me Holden Caulfield will get a pointy brick thrown squarely at their pointier head. As far as I’m concerned Salinger was a one hit wonder who had been riding the coattails of his own lucky break for over fifty years. The reason he’d been in seclusion for half of his life is because he had nothing left to offer the world. Me, I’m an American original and here’s my narrative. Read it and weep, or don’t’, I could give a shit.