Work has begun in Northumberland on a massive earth sculpture of a naked, reclining woman.
Its creator, landscape architect Charles Jenks, has been forced to deny it is offensive to women – claiming it will be an iconic celebration of the human form.
Crews using bulldozers and excavators have started work on the spectacular, 440-yard-long sculpture using 1.5m tonnes of soil and clay dug from an opencast mine nearCramlington.
Where once they shuffled, now they run. Initially born of forbidden voodoo rituals or the sign of a religious apocalypse, for the past decade zombies have slowly metamorphosed into the by-products of something else entirely.
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.” — Harlan Ellison
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Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off
92) Phallic Shaped Fruits and Vegetables
I’m on to you pickles! I’ve got your number cucumbers! Don’t even think about it bananas and zucchini! Has this ever happened to you?: You’re just sitting there minding your own businesses, when all of a sudden, BAM! There’s a giant cucumber stuffed up your ass! How the hell did that get there?! Or maybe you’re taking a nice bubble bath and enjoying a book by candle-light when out of nowhere, BAM! There’s a large banana shoved down your throat and two dill pickles firmly inserted in your butt-hole! Enjoying a nice, leisurely stroll through the park on a spring day? Be alert or the next thing you know your sphincter and mouth with be violated by perverted fruits and vegetables that will use your tender flesh as their fertile soil. And don’t even get me started on hot-dogs, they are the devil’s hell hound!!!
CONSPIRAPORN! 