Pope Benedict’s Commandments
Super Patriot
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.”
— George Bernard Shaw
Conspiraporn’s List of Things that Piss Me Off: #96
Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off
96) Bad people living forever
Why the fuck is Dick Cheney still alive? Is it that robotic baboon heart that keeps his blood flowing or the continual sacrifice of 8 year old virgins? Sure, Richard Nixon kicked the bucket a few years back, but why is it that the good die young while the pedophile priests and perverts seem to live to be 90 years old? Why is it that both of my grandfathers are dead while the Pope, who is just as old, drives around in a bullet proof glass box and gets to wear his big, stupid, pointy hat every day? Maybe it’s because evil fears retribution in the afterlife, so lives longer in order to avoid judgment? Evil is a coward.
Conspiraporn’s List of Things that Piss Me Off: #97
Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off
97) Perez Hilton
If ever there was a waste of physical and digital space, Perez Hilton would fit that category. With no discernable talent for journalism, art, website design, original thought, or general usefulness, Perez has somehow managed to become a household name (if your household consists of feces throwing apes who are addicted to meth and violent masturbation). I honestly wish that somebody would punch this dude right in the face and steal his Twinkies so they could show it live on TMZ. This goes for 99% of all “reality celebrities” and faggish gossip whores: “YOU SUCK DIRTY ASSHOLES FOR A LIVING!” Live it up cum-rags, in a couple years you’ll be on ‘Good Morning America’ with snot on your nose and tears in your eyes, begging for forgiveness like Jimmy Swaggert after you got caught fucking that underage, transvestite goat.
Conspiraporn’s List of Things that Piss Me Off: #98
Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off
98) 3-D movies for $15 bucks
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? OK, the movie AVATAR wasn’t bad for an adult version of ‘The Smurfs’, but if you think that we’re all gonna shell out $15 bucks for an extra pair of glasses you can stick your projector where the sun don’t shine! If people go spend $150 million on ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks III in 3D’, America deserves to be bombed back in to the stone-age by towel headed monkey-bar enthusiasts. In 3 years time they’ll upgrade again and charge us even more, where does it end? How many times do you really need to fucking watch STAR WARS on a big screen, or a generic reinvention of STAR WARS, before you burn the theater down like the finale of INGLORIOUS BASTERDS? Take a stand and boycott $15 dollar movie tickets! For fuck’s sake, boycott ALL Hollywood bullshit and pointless “new and improved” technology from now on. Don’t just follow the trend like some blind jack-ass surfing their lives down the Twitter drain.
CONSPIRAPORN! 