“A coalition of geologists are challenging the way we look at global stone reserves, claiming that, unless smarter methods of preservation are developed, mankind will eventually run out of rocks. “If we do not stop using them up at our current rate, rocks as we know them will be a thing of the past,” renowned geologist Henry Kaiser said at a press conference Tuesday.”
Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off
89) Chronic Masturbation
We’ve all been there, we’ve all done it, don’t lie. I don’t care if you’re a guy or a girl, we all occasionally “pop the weasel”. But how much TLC is too much TLC? You’re supposed to eat 3 meals a day, and defecate regularly; while some people smoke a pack of cigarettes a day or drink a six-pack of beer with relatively little public ostracizing. So why is it that if you masturbate, say, 57 times per week it’s considered a “immoral thing”? Why is it that I’m now “in need of mental evaluation” and have my arms handcuffed behind my back for 22 hours a day? Since when does masturbating 57 times a week, while watching Oprah, alone in the privacy of my own home, require “shock therapy sessions” to be administrated by Nurse Helga every 12 hours? Why is being too lazy for sex, making yourself blind, and loving hairy palms a crime? And if you’re morbidly obese, incredibly ugly, or unbelievably stupid, you should masturbate even more! We don’t want y’all breeding now, do we? Whip it, whip it good!
Big Brother is nesting. Dennis Nino Clasen has created the Wolfgang S. birdhouse (referring to German Minister of the Interior Wolfgang Schauble) to look like it’s watching your every move.
VIA: -THE AWESOMER-
At the blog Weirdo Toys, ugly, strange, and bootleg toys all live together in disgusting harmony, far away from any children. Peruse the blog’s oddball collection and witness such childhood monstrosities as Spider-Superman and the half-Ninja Turtle, half-Hulk hybrid.
VIA: -i09-
CONSPIRAPORN! 