Conspiraporn’s List of Things that Piss Me Off: #94

Surely there are 100 things I could list that piss me off

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94) Simon Cowell

What more needs to be said? This dude is the reason all religious texts are pointing towards 2012 as the apocalypse. Typical “scathing British” review, with formulaic GONG SHOW ingenuity; AMERICAN IDOL is the reason suicide was invented and David Carradine accidentally hung himself while masturbating in a closet. Simply put, Simon Cowell sucks donkey dicks while America votes for the least horrible and most attractive moron they can find. If he had an action figure based after him it would come with “Satan Cock Guzzling Action!”. Cowell couldn’t even beat an Alzheimer’s patient in a game of checkers at the park bench. For Christ’s sake, Chef Gordon Ramsey has more talent than this man-boobed twit, at least he can cook and cleans your kitchen. It’s shows like these that makes America the most stupidestest nation on earth. It gets you to expect everything while getting nothing besides broken dreams, smelly VD, and a coke addiction.

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